the good and the not so bad.

Have you ever hugged someone and felt a loving warmth spread through your whole body? Sometimes I feel like Brekka is a drug I've been without. When I hold her close I feel a strange familiarity, like I've held her time and time before. These feelings are even stronger after a long nap or restful night. I am just itching for her to wake up. When she does, she sees me and smiles. I snatch her up and squeeze her tight. Then I get that rush of love and peace that warms my soul.. FINALLY I'm holding her again.
Now most of the time our days are filled with peace and contentment, but sometimes Brekka can be a real stinker and I don't feel so much warmth! Lately she thinks is fun to stop mid-feeding and just look around and talk. If I try to pull her close, and encourage her to finish eating, she gives me the stiff arm and screeches at me. About five or ten minutes later she starts yelling at me again because she wants to eat, and it has to be RIGHT NOW! Then she latches on like she's been starving for days. I used to think she was having tummy pains or something, but now I've come to realize she wants to eat when SHE wants to eat. It has to be her idea and on her time frame! Sounds like somebody else I know...
There is a stark contrast between these two scenarios, but the truth is I will take Brekka any way I can get her. She can treat me any way she wants to and I'll love her the same. Just look at this mischievous look on her face.. she's definitely up to something.

a few of my favorite things..

There are so many things I adore about this girl I can't keep track of them all...
I love the way she contently plays until she falls asleep. All the sudden it will be quiet, and I'll find her fast asleep on the couch, the bed or floor. Aww my heart melts at how sweet she is. Sometimes I won't even know she's awake again until I see her little peekies looking out over the blanket.
I love the way she yawns and stretches. She leans her head back, arches her back, puts her fists to her cheeks, and pulls her knees up to her tummy. I'll lift her up in the air and just watch her contort into a little ball. The boys used to do this too.. so cute.
I love her little nakie body right before a bath. Her skin is so soft and flawless. I can fit her tiny bum in my hand as I carry her to the tub.
I love how the rate at which she kicks her legs is directly related to how happy she is. When she's really excited she kicks them super fast.
I love how patient she is.. until she has finally HAD it and gets her "mad on." The way she looks and the way she sounds when she's crying makes me smile. She's just seems too small to be so opinionated, so feisty and full of life.
I love seeing her tiny toes.. or any other part of her sticking out of a blanket.This list will be never ending. You may want to check back on this post from time to time as I'm sure I'll add to it. :)

just to see you smile..

Just recently Brekka has started to show an affinity towards her mommy! Her first smile was for her daddy, but now she seems to have a smile that never ends for her mommy.

Almost every time she sees me, her face lites up with a smile unique to all others. When she hears my voice she'll start to smile before she even sees me. If I smile at her when she's crying she can't resist giving a smile back. Just tonight she was crying with tummy pains. I smiled and talked to her, thinking if I had a sad look on my face that would only make her feel worse, and she smiled back even through her tears. My absolute FAVORITE thing is when I look over at her, and she's already looking at me with a precious smile on her shiny face. My immediate reaction is to smother her with kisses! When someone else is holding her and I come close she'll smile and lean over for me to take her. As many times as she's smiled at me, I've smiled at her a thousand times more!

I do realize that her adoration for me has a lot to do with the fact that mommy means grub. But I'm pretty sure there is more to it than that. One day she'll probably be a daddy's girl, and someday she'll care more about friends and BOYS. But for now her mommy is her world and I am going to absorb every second of it!

♥

Me: "I don't deserve her.."
Darrell: "None of us do."

what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's!

Grandma Wright bought Brekka an outfit that said just that. I'm sure there is a lot of spoiling going on at Grandma's house. Brekka was about a month old in these pictures. Grandma's arms.. what a warm and cozy spot to be in...

Blakely saw this picture and said "You won't want to put THAT one on the blog."
I said, "Why Blakely?"
"Because you look so tired."
I was happy with this comment, thinking he could have said a lot worse! It's true, I was tired. Blissfully tired. In fact a lot can be seen in this picture, things I can look back on and smile. We are happiest when we are busy thinking about things other than ourselves.
Case in point: I'm still in my pj's while Brekka is all cleaned up and ready for the day. (A common occurrence) My hair is messy, dark roots grown out. In the background are popcorn bowls from our at home "date night." Notice there are two.. Darrell had lemon pepper on his, which I couldn't have since the seasonings give Brekka tummy pains. And I always have two pillows to prop up for those late night feedings. I bet if you zoomed in close you could even see an extra laugh line or two..
But notice the most important thing... a chubby baby sleeping contently, surrounded by her Mommy's love as her Dad grabs a camera to capture the special moment.
That's what it's all about.

hee hee

I don't really have much to say other than this picture cracks me up. I wonder what she's thinking? Must be something funny, ironic maybe, as she dozes off.

big girl!

Yesterday Brekka reached out and grabbed her toys for the first time! The whole eye/hand coordination thing is really starting to work out for her! Another first... just the other day she rolled over from her stomach to her back without a hitch, like it was no big deal. She didn't even have to try. And today I got her to GIGGLE! She was sitting up on my lap, propped up with my legs, looking straight at me. I grabbed her arms, pulled her forward and said "Aboo," blowing in her face at the end and letting her fall back. She opend her mouth wide and let out an amused chuclke every time. Oh it was so fun. She also smiles when we're trying to play by tickling her sides saying "gitchoo, gitchoo, gitchoo." Three firsts in on week! This girl is on a roll!

good morning merry miss sunshine!

My absolute favorite time of day with Brekka is the morning. As I get the boys ready for school, I hear her waking up, calling out "Agoooo" from our room. I walk down the hall with a smile on my face, a skip in my step, thinking what a lucky girl I am. "Good morning sweetheart!" I say as I pick her up, snuggle my face into her neck and breathe her in. How does she smell so good? Her head smells like a perfect combination of cotton candy and angel kisses. Even her toes smell sweet! Her body is so warm and cozy. Her hair disheveled, bow hanging cooked. Her eyes are still sleepy, eyelashes drooping. When she sees me her face lights up. Then we talk, we smile, we sing songs and plan our day. It's impossible to have a bad day that begins like this. And I bet if she could tell you, Brekka would say it's her favorite time too.

In My Daughter's Eyes

This song always has and always will make me cry... (having a hard time even posting this..sniff). Every word is true. I love to see my reflection in her eyes. Now I can think of my mom as well as my sweet daughter when I hear this song.

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Sometimes..

Sometimes I have a day when I'm freaking out at the thought of Brekka growing so quickly. I find myself wishing I could capture every moment on camera or film and keep it forever. I know this is an impossible task, but that still doesn't keep me from having times of partial insanity wishing I could. I can't wait to witness all her firsts. The times ahead are going to be SO wonderful, but heaven help me on days like these.
Brekka has gotten really good at using her hands. I find it so cute the way she gets her tiny fists up to her face, smears them around, finds her mouth, then sucks on them so optimistically. Nope, no milk there! She pulls her hands away with an agitated look on her face, cries out what seems to be, "Dang it!!" Then, there the fists go... back to her mouth as she tries again. "Suck, suck, suck........ CRAP!" Haha.. Love you Brekka boo.





This bracelet was given to Brekka by her Aunt Denie for her blessing day... precious.

Brekka's newest thing is cheek cuddling. She'll rest her cheek against ours and just leave it there. I like to walk around the house with her cheek to cheek, talking and looking at things. Her tiny cheek is just SO soft. Love it!
On this day we were going shopping for the little princess, since her Grandpa Wright gave her $100 as a baby gift. Darrell insisted we use it to buy her a bunch of new clothes. Oh boy, the spoiling has started already. But can you blame him? (Her hair looks really light in these pictures.. must be the sun shining through her out-of-control duck fluff.)

Can you tell her daddy is completely whooped? I think it's mutual...